The "M" is me

Hello everyone,

I became an AmeriCorp member in 2007, the first class and at first had no idea what AmeriCorps was or what it even stood for. But as the year went on and I attended different trainings and started to get a better understanding of what it was all about I realized that an AmeriCorp member is someone that is helping others in the field of human service. It is giving a hand to someone in their time of need.


My name is Sabrina Gordon and I am a 25 year old woman. I have an AA in psychology and an AS in Human Service with a specialization in Social Service. I grew up in Gainesville/Ocala, FL. I have been working with the public in different aspects my whole life. I am currently working hard on my BA in psychology and hopefully my MA in Marriage & Family Therapy after that.

I am currently working at the Arnette House and have been there for 4 ½ years. I work in the shelter with the youth as a direct care worker. We can house up to 30 youth at a time. We serve youth 10-17 who are ungovernable, truant (court ordered by a judge), in Department of Children and Families custody, runaways, and homeless. My primary responsibilities are to provide a safe and loving environment for the youth while they are temporarily facing their life storms. While they are in the shelter; I along with my coworkers, make sure to provide them with all their needs as well as some their wants (like getting their hair and nails done.) I am only a small part of this wonderful team that I work with and as a team we work together to help the youth and their families find better ways to deal with their problems. Not only do we provide an education, but we also try to expose them to different opportunities that they might not experience in life. Over the summer we did many trips/activities with them. We went skating, to the movies, to Easy Street (fun game center.) We took them to different springs to go swimming, to Wild Waters, and to St. Augustine. We went to Ripley’s Believe it or Not and then to the beach, different tours to Signature Brands ( which make products for Betty Crocker and Golden Flake.) The biggest trip though was to Tennessee for the Trip of A Lifetime.

First we took the youth to Blue Ridge, GA stayed in nice cabins up in the mountains, We went out to dinner, We went White Water Rafting, then to Tennessee for the SEN Youth Empowerment Conference and then to Dolly Parton’s Dixie Stampede. We ended the trip by going back to GA for the Georgia Aquarium and an Atlanta Braves Game. They ended the summer by going to Delonga Spring when they got to cook their own breakfast and go swimming. We have tried to provide them with many opportunities to learn along the way in hope that they will remember and use these skills one day.

By working at the Arnette House, I have learned so much about the human service field and the legal aspect behind it. I enjoy working at the shelter with youth because they are so diverse not only on ethnic level but also their cultures, the environments they come from, and in their social and economic status. Working with them, I have learned so much about how the generations are so different now then they were even when I was growing up.

That hasn’t been that long ago for me, but the challenges that they face today are just amazing compared to the challenges that my generation faced. The youth are a lot stronger than us adults give them credit for. Sometime just listening to them talked about their problems and their situations can make you realize that we have a lot to be thankful for ourselves. I can’t imagine going through some of the problems that they face, so I thank God for putting me in the this field to hopefully be a light or set an example for one of them to follow. When you see a youth years later come back as an adult and say thank you; it makes all the headaches, the feelings of being unappreciated, not valued, (and sometimes worthless) go away.

It makes you feel good to know that you made a difference in a young person’s life. You just say to yourself “this is where I supposed to be right now.
I am putting my needs aside to help these young people find better ways to deal with their problems. If I can shed a little light on a dark cloud that is hanging over their heads then I have made a small accomplishment in their life. Hopefully they will remember it one day.

By being an AmeriCorp member I have met so many wonderful people in different parts of the world who have a passion about what they are doing. It has been a wonderful experience to be able to talk to others who are in the same field and understand the positives and the negatives of what I may be feeling at times. I have been to so many different incredible places like when we went to GA for TAPP Middle Management Retreat, Cocoa Beach for the Advancing Youth Development training, and now Kentucky for the SEN conference!

By being an AmeriCorp member, I feel that I have a voice that needs to be heard. It a voice that is coming from not just a youth care worker but an individual that is part of an organization that is everyday striving to finds ways to better serve youth. It is an individual that is just as important as the CEO of the company. I thank everyone for this opportunity and it is truly a blessing. Always remember that it takes a village to raise a child. There is no “I” in team and yes there may be a “me” but the “e” stands for everyone and it comes before the “m” which is me.

Sabrina

Big Thanks!

When I first got serious about trying to organize a volunteer program at Capital City Youth Services runaway shelter, it was Louisa who gave me the basics on how to get started at an SEN Middle Management Retreat (TAPP!). That wasn't the most important thing I took away from her workshop that day.

I took away permission to try.

All of the hesitation I felt about screwing up or not getting started was gone after that session.

She basically said, "Go on and do it, what are you waiting for?"

Now that she is passing the torch of blogmaster back to me, I am reminded of those first early steps in coordinating a service learning program. With that permission to try and the motivation to speak about my vision things began to come together. A sense of pride and commitment from a few interested individuals grew into partnerships with Florida State University, Florida A & M University, Tallahassee Community College, and more civic groups than I can name. By applying the same principles of good service she spoke of in that first workshop we found ways to be productive, have fun, and focus on a good quality of life for the kids living in the shelter.

For the last few months Louisa has written of the who, what, where, and why of public service. We have examined legendary examples of public service and our own personal relationship to service. We have studied philosophies that support youth care work at its very best. We have shared strategies, activities, and techniques for engaging young people and our peers in service opportunities.

Louisa will continue to support the SEN Americorps project in other ways, but for now, this blog is ours and she has given us permission to try.

If you have a story to share from your Americorps project site, a question to ask your peers, or a burning issue you would like to discuss, please send me an e-mail at jrobertson@senetwork.org and I will help you get it out there.

Thanks to each of you for investing in yourselves and the youth of America by committing to Americorps service.

Together We Can,

John

From Nicole

Hey Everybody,

Nicole is stepping up to blog to you all. I am going to put her blog here and I hope you will leave your comments for her.

Nicole, You Go Girl!!!!



I've been trying to work on staying in touch, which I think may be easy for me because I am young I am still interested in some of the things they are. (teens)

Although sometimes I'm afraid to let them know that for fear they may see it as a sign of weakness and I would lose some of the respect they give me.

For example when we took the shelter boys out for lunch... they got in the car and I let them have control of the radio they were all shocked that I knew the words to the songs they wanted to listen to.

Would you all be interested in techniques about staying in touch?

Nicole

New Bloggers

Hello Everyone!

It is SO hot here. About 100 degrees I think. How is it where you are?

Sabina and Nicole have volunteered to learn the blog and try blogging for us all.
That will be very cool.

So I will be emailing them and hopefully you will hear from them soon!

Thanks Nicole for the comment and website.
Hope you all try it out.

Now for some games that we didn't do at training, but you might like to try.



Betcha Never

Ask your youth to come up with something they think is true about them that is not true for anyone else. Give each person a chance to say their name and "I betcha never _____". If someone else did that, then the person has to come up with another unique fact.

Blanket Game

This is a good game to use when youth kind of know each other's names.

Break into 2 teams. One person from each team holds one end of the blanket, so it divides the two groups and no one can see the other side. Each team chooses one person to stand on their side of the blanket facing it. When ready, the blanket-holders drop the blanket and the persons facing each other try to call out the name of the other person first. Whoever loses has to go over to the other side. The side with the most wins.

Cereal Pairs

Good for a large group when you want to have them divide into pairs. Write down on separate sheets of paper the first and last names of cereal. Like "cocoa" and "puffs" and "captain" "crunch" . Each person has to find their cereal mate.

That's all for now!

LA

More Games

Hi Everyone. Thank you Sweetie Pie for your comment. I am glad the "I've got mail" game worked for you. I think it is fun for all ages and no matter how often I play, I still enjoy it.

So...more games:

Group Former

One way to get people into groups is to write down 3 or 4 (or however many groups you want) things on a card and hand them out. For example, you can wight down 4 different songs if you want 4 groups and everyone has to hum the song they were given and find the others that are humming the same song. Or animal noises or something else.

Paperplates Ranking

Put the numbers 1-10 on 10 paper plates. Ask people to find the number that expresses how they feel. For example, tell everyone to think of how they feel on a scale of 1-10, 10 being fantastic and 1 being horrible. Or you can use the numbers for how much they like an activity or how they feel about an issue, etc. Allow people to share why they chose the number they did.

Beach Ball Toss

Buy and inflate a beach ball that has the different color areas on it. Write with a permanent marker a question in each area. Throw the ball to each other in the circle and when someone catches it, they have to answer the question in front of them.

Learning Names Toss

Get everyone in a circle. Have each person say a person's name and throw the ball to that person. They can not throw the ball to someone who has already had it. When the ball has gone to everyone, go around again in the same order. Start it a third time in the same order, but start adding more balls until there are lots of balls being tossed.

Have fun!

LA

Ice-breakers

Wow! It was great to hear your voices today on the conference call. It reminded me of what great people you are and how much fun I had with you at the training.

Some of you wanted to hear more about the ice-breakers we did. John, you said the "Two Truths & a Lie" worked great for you. So let's start with that one.

Two Truths and a Lie

Ask each person to write down on an index card, 2 things that are true about them and 1 thing that is a lie. Each takes a turn reading their 3 statements. Then ask the group to raise their hands if they think that statement is a lie when the person reads them again slowly. You can demonstrate with yourself first if they don't get it.

Concentric Circles

This activity starts with the group getting into 2 circles. The inside circle turns around to face the outside circle. Then ask a question that you want them to answer with the person they are facing. After a few minutes when both have shared, ask one circle to move to the left one person. Ask another question. Continue until the circle gets back to the beginning.

This is a great introduction exercise or one when you want people to be thinking about things you will be teaching or exploring later.

Line Up

Ask your people to line up according to something, but they can't talk. It could be how old they are or how long they have done something, etc.

I've Got Mail

Everyone gets in a circle with a piece of paper under their feet to mark where they are standing. You get in the middle of the circle and explain that you will have mail for all those who ....something that is true about them. It also has to be true about you (& whoever is standing in the middle). If it is true about them, they have to find another spot to stand that is NOT adjacent to where they started. The one who can't get a spot has to go into the middle and say something true about them.


More tomorrow!!

LA

Important Notice

Heads up Everyone!!

Important Announcement about the blog!

It has been decided that YOU are now going to be the bloggers. YOU, the Americorps Members, are going to own and take care of this blog!

I have had a lot of fun writing you all, but there has been very very little interaction or comments.

So hopefully we are going to have some of you want to be bloggers. You will be able to blog weekly or so which won't take much time at all.

So tell me what you think about this. Suggestions? Comments?

LA

In Touch

Hello Everyone!

Well, I think we beat patience to death, don't you?

Let's talk about being in touch. Maybe I am wrong, but that seems to me to be easy if you are working with youth. Being with them as they watch tv, listen to music, talk to each other....and ASK QUESTIONS.

Who is that?
What does that mean?
What do you like?
Who is your favorite...?

Another way to keep in touch is to ask each other. You each hear and learn about things the others might miss. Share the new "cool" things that youth are into.

When you are driving the youth somewhere, listen to what they talk about. You will learn a lot.

I used to be in touch because I had four teens...with an 11 year spread. Now my youngest is 20 and I am pretty out of touch. I know some of the music, but not much else. I need to be more intentional about what youth are into these days.

So are there any other ways you can think of to keep in touch?

Next time lets look at some of the "in" stuff.

LA

Patience V

Hi Everyone!

This is the last blog on patience for now...unless requested for more. There are a few more tips to share with you.

1. Eliminate boredom. When you are waiting for traffic or in a doctor's office or for teens to get ready, etc. have something to do.

2. Spirituality helps with patience. Prayer and/or meditation can be a way to calm yourself. It is also a way to help the situation by calling on a Higher Power.

3. Have an affirmation or mantra like gimmeshack said. Something to say to yourself over and over to calm you down. I like the slogans from the 12 step programs:

Easy Does It
Let Go & Let God
Live & Let Live

Those are some of my favorites.

4. Remember that being patient with others, especially youth, is a form of respect. We talked about adultism in the training. (When adults act/feel like they are superior to youth.) One way to practice caring and respect is to be patient with others.

5. Remember that patience is bad for your health...raises your stress levels and blood pressure. You are happier when you are patient.

6. Detach with love. Try to observe the teen's behavior without letting it bother you. Breathe deep and relax. Be nonjudgmental and just observe. Be like an anthropologist observing the youth culture.

Anyway, if any of you have any more tips or methods to become more patient, let us all know!!

LA

Patience IV

Hello Everyone,

Sorry I haven't been blogging much this week. I have been working too hard. Did an AYD training for our shelter residential staff. We had fun, but it was a small group.

Thanks Gimmeshack for your comment! Mantras and sayings DO help and especially if others know you are struggling and can help or laugh or both.

I will finish the list of ways to help with patience that we started.

Step Six Remind yourself that things take time. Soemtimes we are impatient because we see what needs to be changed, fixed or done now. And it isn't happening. So we can breathe deep, relax and remember that things take time. I try to remember that there are things in a person that need to grow or heal on the inside first before they can make a lot of changes on the outside.

Step Seven: Expect the Unexpected. Plans often go wrong. People are late. Things don't go perfectly. We only stress ourselves out when we get impatient with life's little turns and twists. Besides, we are working with teenagers and non-profits!

Step Eight: Don't be a Perfectionist. When we hold ourselves to really high standards, we will be impatient with ourselves and others. I am guilty of being the hardest on myself. Today, I didn't look good becuase I messed up. It made me impatient with myself even when I got home. Life is hard enough as it is, without us beating ourselves up. If you do that, you need to stop. Me too.


Step Nine: Remember What Matters. Or "How Important Is it?" I try to do that when I am driving too fast. I ask myself if where I am going is as important as an accident. Then I can slow down and not be impatient with those slow drivers. Or at work, is it more important to get everything done or to listen?

Easy stuff to write about, but hard to do.

Let me know what works for you!

Have a great weekend!

LA

Patience III

Hello Everyone, I have been traveling again. If you are wanting to move on to a different topic, you will just have to be patient. LOL

Everyone been practicing their patience?

I would love to hear from you guys. Just click on the comments and let me know how you are doing and whether you are becoming more patient.

Actually, what usually happens when you want to change a habit is this:

You decide you want to stop doing a certain behavior.

After you have done the behavior again, you realize it afterwards.

This goes on for awhile.

Then you start noticing in the middle of the behavior that you are doing it.

That goes on for awhile.

Then you catch your self as you begin the behavior....and stop.

After awhile you can stop yourself before you do the behavior at all.

Finally, you will notice that you don't even think about or do the behavior much at all.

The example I love for this is a child being potty trained.

First the child doesn't even realize she is wet.

Then she learns about the potty.

For awhile after she pees in her pants, she says, "I need to go potty".

Then while she is peeing in her pants, she says, "I need to go potty."

Then she says, " I need to go potty" and while she is running there, pees in her pants.

FINALLY, she says "I need to go potty" and makes it there without peeing in her pants. She still might have "accidents" but they will be less and less until she doesn't even have to think about it. Her new behavior is a habit.


It would be silly (but human) to be impatient with yourself as you try to learn patience!! It takes time. But you can do it!

Let me know how it goes!

LA

Patience II

Hello Everybody,

We will continue our blog on patience.

Step One: Give yourself time and space
Step Two: Make a list of what causes you to lose patience.

Step Three: Whenever you find yourself losing patience, take deep breathes. Our body reacts to stress and we get agitated...ready for flight or fight. Taking deep breathes can cue in our body that we can relax. It also helps to repeat the serenity prayer.

God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Step Four:Look for patterns. Are there certain times, situations, clients, activities where you lose your patience the quickest? Look at what you can do to change that. Or ask for help and ideas for what you can do to make it less problematic for you.

Step Five: Practice being patient in the non-important areas. Like driving! Practice being patient with the horrible drivers out there and you will find it easier to be patient with teens. You need Step One to do this of course. If you aren't running late somewhere, it is easier to be patient at the 5th red light in a row, or the driver that cuts in front of you and slows down or the driver that does 5 miles under the speed limit in the left lane....aaaah!

Anyway. That is enough for today. I need to do these things myself. I have had too much to do and too little time and thus been impatient and stressed.

Hope some of this is helpful to you too.

Soon,

LA

Patience

Patience

Well, I asked my 20 year old son, "How do you get patience?"

He said, "You mean like a doctor?"

I laughed. Patience not patients. But I think a sense of humor is definitely one of the ways to have more patience.

So let's get started....

I found this article on patience:


The first step in becoming more patient is to figure out if you are doing too much or spread too thin. Well, most of us in social services can say a big yes to that one. I know that if I don't have enough time, I lose my patience quickly. If I am late, I am impatient with other drivers, red lights, etc. I also have a job that has a lot of different things going on at the same time. It stresses me out and I lose patience.

So for me, trying to do one thing at a time and giving myself enough time helps.
But, I don't think that is what you all meant by needing patience.

So step two might be more helpful:

Pinpoint the triggers that often make you lose your patience. Impatience creeps in insidiously, and if you feel anxious, worried, or unhappy you may not even realize that the underlying cause of these feelings is impatience. To reduce the frequency of impatience, it helps to be aware of it. Which events, people, phrases or circumstances always seem to make you lose your cool? Sit down and make a list of all the things which cause you anxiety, tension, or frustration. At the core of most triggers is a reality that we have a hard time accepting. What are those realities for you?

We can all try it.

First: make a list of all the things that make you lose your cool.
Second: ask yourself what you might be resisting.

The 12 step programs have a saying: Life on Life's Terms. Others have said, "Whatever you resist persists." Anyway, the idea is the same. Life just is. People are going to act the way they do. Teens are going to act the way they do. If we can expect that, it might help us not lose our cool so much. Resisting reality makes us stressed and angry...impatient!

Anyway, I think I will make the list....will you?

Till tomorrow,

LA

Future Blog Topics

Hello Everyone!

It is hard for me to be back to work. The daily stuff is not nearly as much fun as being with you all. Nor is it as fun as swimming and being on the beach!

So I jotted down the topics that you all named more than once as areas of improvement. I would like to spend some blog time on each one. And if you have more, please let me know.

These are the areas:

Patience
Communication skills
Being energetic
Being in touch
Being non-judgmental
Motivation
Professionalism

So we will spend some time on each of these. And I hope that those of you who are strong in these areas will add your own things that work for you.

So tomorrow we will start with patience....

Till then,

LA

WOW

WOW! What a Training!

Thanks to all of you who were there. I just love all of you and miss you too. What a great time we had. It was your training and you were awesome!

I only regret that we didn't get a complete group shot! So I put in the one we got of all who were still there when we remembered to take the photo.

I left Cocoa and went to Siesta Key for a few days to relax and swim and sun. Now I am back to work and ready to blog!

I hope you all will click on the comments and jump in!

For today, I will put up your best practices that you came up with after each section of the training. So here they are!

Best Practices

Become a Mentor

Set High Standards

The Starfish Story..."It Matters to This One"

Stay Aware

The Golden Rule

Claim Your Successes

Support Them But Challenge Them

Never Forgetting Where You Come From (Your Situation) And Those Who Helped You Along The Way.

Helpers Need Guidance



So there you have it: your best practices.

Any thoughts on them?

Till tomorrow,

LA

Vacation

Hello Everyone,

I am heading to Cocoa Beach Florida to do the Advancing Youth Development Training on Friday until Monday. It will be great to meet those of you who will be attending.

I might be taking next week off. I will let you know. I will be on vacation if I decide to stay in Florida. I haven't decided yet.

When I come back (whenever that is), we will talk about adolescent development.

So have a great rest of the week and tune in next week to see if we are on blog-break or not.

Take care,

LA

News

Hey all,

I thought I would just gab a little tonight. I left my material on adolescent development at work and that is what I was going to write about.

So I will just tell you a little of what I have been up to this summer. First of all, I had my first grandchild on May 20th. Her name is Katherine, but she is called Rin. She lives in Raleigh, NC. I probably already told you all this.

At work, I am being moved into all training in August probably. Right now I am doing training and volunteer services.

I am trying to get my house ready to sell. I know it is a terrible time to sell, but I want to stop being a homeowner. I want to be able to call someone to fix stuff. So I have a repair man redoing the chimney and all kinds of repairs that I have put off. You know that those of us who work in social services don't have much money to put into houses anyway.

My youngest son is 20 and is hopefully moving into an apartment July 1. Anyway all of this is exciting.

I am looking forward to this Friday when I get to fly to Florida to train a lot of you all. It will be fun to meet you and learn together.

This month has been crazy. We have 5 weekends in June. The first one, I flew to Raleigh to see my grandaugher. The third one, I flew to Maryland for my family reunion, and now the 5th one, I am flying to Florida to train. Whew!

Yesterday I was invited on a pontoon boat at a lake about an hour from Nashville. It is a beautiful lake with trees all around and a lot of marinas on coves and inlets and little parts of the river. A lot of country music stars like Alan Jackson have houses there, but the houses are mostly hidden by the trees. We had fun swimming in the water and being pulled by the boat on one of those floaty thingees.

Then at 7pm (when the boat was supposed to be returned to the marina where my friend rented it) we realized that we had no idea where we were or where the marina was. And there were no landmarks, light houses or buoys or anything. Two and a half hours later we found it. I thought for sure I was going to have to sleep in wet clothes on an open boat all night.

It is a lesson to me to not forget where you came from, where you are going and where you want to go.

Till tomorrow,

LA

Advancing Youth Development

Hello ALL,

We will discuss Advancing Youth Development (AYD) because I will be training about half of you on that beginning Friday.

What is it?

AYD is a curriculum. What is a curriculum?. Follow the link to find out.

Anyway, in 1992, the Office of Juvenile Justice & Delinquency Prevention funded the Center for Youth Development and Policy Research at the Academy for Educational Development (AED) and the National Network for Youth to develop AYD.

There were 10 organizations that piloted this curriculum in 1995 and the final version was published in 1996.

I first took AYD at the Oasis Center. Then I took the Training of Trainers. SEN was responsible for both of those trainings. Now they are going to have me train you all.

So what are the benefits of AYD?

Surveyed youth workers have said that the training a had a great impact on their work. One youth worker said, "I concentrate more on listening to the youth. I understand that I don't have all the answers...Also I have changed the program by creating a different structure, which includes more of the youth's ideas."

It also helps youth workers with self-reflection, assessment and development.

Youth workers gain best practices and strategies.

Youth workers meet each other, network and make allies.

Youth workers gain a professional language for their work.

Youth workers can regain their excitement about working with youth.

And more.

So I hope you are looking forward to some fun and learning. I am!

Have a great weekend!

LA

Allies

Hello, everyone. I am writing from Atlanta. Just here for the day even though it is 4 hours from Nashville.

I just finished an Advancing Youth Development training in Nashville. And the group came up with a term I really like:

Allies

So what is an allie? Wikepedia says:

...those who share a common goal and whose work toward that goal is complementary may be viewed as allies for various purposes even when no explicit agreement has been worked out between them.

So they are others who share our goals. Others who do what we do and are willing to help us. Youth work is not something we can do alone. Our young people need as many caring adults and resources as we can provide. Just like that familiar quote, "It takes a village to raise a child.", I would say, "It takes a community to develop a teen."

We can find allies at our workplace or other non-profits in our area.

We can also find allies among each other. All of you are Americorps with SEN in youth agencies. That is a lot of commonality. When we are at the training in Florida, I will give you a lot of chances to meet and get to know each other. It is my hope that you will like each other and want to become allies to each other. That you will want ot exchange ideas and support with each other not only in person, but on the blog.

This blog is for you. And I would love to sustain an allie-group with it.

More tomorrow!

LA

Cutting Edge

Hello!

I am back from my family reunion at a state park in Delaware on the ocean. Found a deer tick on myself this morning and since Delaware is in the area with the highest risks in the country for lyme disease, I am taking antibiotics and had my blood tested. YUK. I hate those things!!

Ok.

We are the cutting edge.

The last of the SEN assertions or values. SEN is cutting edge and so are we.

One way that we are cutting edge is through the Advancing Youth Development Curriculum. This framework and training is what youth workers need to be professional in their work. This is the training that we will be doing the end of this month in Florida. I have been training youth workers in Nashville with it this summer.

Another way we need to be cutting edge is to keep up with new research about youth. For example, there was hardly any research done on the adolescent brain until 10 years ago. Now they are discovering that the teen brain is really not fully formed. The part of the brain that has to do with thinking of future consequences is not formed. It is a biological factor. It is important to learn everything you can about these things.

Another area to be cutting edge in, is technology. This is a SEN blog. That is cutting edge!

So we will start talking about cutting edge subjects from now on....

Till tomorrow...

LA

Courage

Hello, I just got back from swimming 25 laps...that is what facing fear will do for you. (See yesterday's blog)

I will just write some more thoughts about courage and fear.

One thing I heard is that people who are paralyzed by their fears treat fear like a stop light...the red on a traffic signal. If they are afraid they avoid whatever it is. They stop any forward movement. Their life gets smaller and smaller, because their choices get less and less.

People who move forward even though they are afraid treat fear like a yellow light. They go with caution. (I know, I know the analogy breaks down if you are like most people and you speed up to get through the yellow before it turns red.)
But for the sake of this subject, we will take the yellow light as it was intended....caution. (Yes, I think that is an apple in the photo of the traffic light.)

When you meet up with a fear, it is okay to be cautious. Examine what your fears are. What is the worst that can happen? Are these real fears? Talk to someone who is a compassionate listener. (Someone who calls you a wuss or tells you to "Just Do It" is not what I am talking about.)

I have a group of people who are my support team. They are not my closest friends or best buds, but we are there to help each other. We email requests to the group for prayer or advice. And we do what is called a sandwich call. We call someone and tell them our fear and ask for support while we face it and then call them afterwards and report in. For example, if I were afraid of a job interview, I would call someone from my support group and talk to them about it just before the interview. Then after the interview I would call them back and tell them about it.
This way, we are not alone.

Some of you may have family you can do this with. Anyway, it is a good tool to use to face fears.

Later,

LA

Courage

Hello! We will talk more about courage.

Do you like Courage the Cowardly Dog? There is a lesson there. If you are not afraid, you do not need courage. Courage is what we have when we face our fears.

Or.. Courage is fear that has said its prayers.

And what is fear anyway? I like the following:

F alse
E vidence
A ppearing
R eal

Now of course some fear is very real and we need to take account of that. (For example walking across the interstate at rush hour.) But most of our fear today is anxiety. Fight or Flight responses that never go away or are dealt with. Because we aren't fearing a big sabertooth tiger that will either eat us or run off and leave us relieved and safe, we don't resolve our fears. We fear things like loss of approval, humiliation, failure, etc...all things that go on and on and on. And things we can't see or fight with spears. False beliefs, shoulds and critical voices in our head that feel as big as a herd of mammoths.

For example the "bag lady" is a common fear for single older women. It goes like this: "Oh no, I am going to end up living under a bridge with no money at all."

There are many methods for relieving these fears: cognitive-behavioral therapy, meditation, staying in the present, etc. It is good for us to work through our fears, because we can see how hard it is. Then we can help our youth work through theirs and have compassion.

Anyway, we only get courage but facing our fears. But we don't have to do it alone. There are support groups, counselors, books, churches, and all kinds of help.

More tomorrow

LA

Courage

Hello Everyone, well I am sorry I haven't blogged since last Wednesday. What happened to me? I just got heat-stroke I think. How hot is it where you are? It has been like 98 degrees everyday here.

Today we are talking about:

We derive courage from facing and moving through our fears.

Wow. I can certainly talk about this from experience. I have struggled with fear so much of my life. I left highschool with hardly any self-esteem or confidence at all and it has been tough! Actually I got married right after college and was able to defer some of my fears until my divorce 19 years later. Then there was no one to buffer my fears and I was on my own.

One of the most helpful tools for me was the book Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers.

This book is great for getting past your fears as well as living a very full life.

One of my favorite points in the book is similar to our saying. That we will never get over our fears unless we face them. Also everyone has fears and everytime we reach new experiences we will have fear to face all over again.

Jeffers also talks about not letting fear contract your life. I did that for most of my life. Here is a small example. When I was under 12 years old, we belonged to a community pool. In order to swim in the deep end, you needed to pass the pool test which was 2 laps lenghwise of the pool. Well I was afraid to swim and my friends would play in the deep end and I was alone.

Why was I afraid? Because when I was real little (6 years old perhaps), I had to take swim lessons at the YMCA and I cheated. I would pretend to swim but really have my tip toes on the bottom of the pool. I fooled the teachers by staying in the middle of the class as went back and forth across the shallow end of the pool. But when it came time for us all to jump in the deep end (12 feet)and swim, I refused. (I wasn't stupid!) I was pushed in. Down, down, down I went to the bottom....and stayed there till the teacher jumped in and got me. I failed the class...no "little guppy" award for me. And I was terrified of not touching the bottom of the pool.

So I would not learn to swim...I would watch my friends play without me.

Well, one summer when I was 12, I was able to attend a camp in New England. I hated it with a passion, but I did learn to swim. How? Well, there were anchored floats in this mountain lake that we had to get to....no problem... I could tippy-toe right?

Well, I did. And when I got up on the float, I had leeches on the bottom of my feet!!!!! Yes, real live black slimy leeches. They were on the bottom of the lake.

So I learned to keep my feet OFF the bottom of the lake. I faced my fear and learned to swim. When I got home, I went directly to the community pool and passed that pool test with flying colors. I have not been afraid to swim ever since. (Still not thrilled about leeches though).

More about courage, tomorrow!

Stay cool,

LA

Laughter Con't

Hello!

I think we will talk about laughter a little more. I was trying to think of some jokes but I can never remember them.

Anyway, what does it mean that laughter opens doors? What doors? Well I think of a door as a means to enter somewhere. In this case I would think it would be a way to enter into relationship. The key to all we do is in building relationship with the youth we serve. So laughter is a way to enter into relationship. Laughing together builds community and rapport. It builds bonds. It puts you on the same page, the same side.

Making fun of ourselves and being willing to look foolish is one method that works too. Dancing around in the shelter to the kid's rap music makes them laugh and we can laugh at ourselves. When my office was there, I would ask the youth to teach me the latest dance...like that superman thing...now THAT is good for a laugh....me trying to learn that.

One thing about our kids is that many of them have had to grow up too fast. Be too serious and too adult too early. It is great to encourage them to have fun and laugh. Games that encourage this are great too. We will do some of them in the training this month.

I like to get people who are stern and rude to laugh if possible. It opens a door. I think the door opens to a person's joyful self...their real self that is hidden by all the false fronts people put on to look okay.

Teaching someone that it is okay to laugh...that is a gift.

More tomorrow....

LA

Laughter Opens Doors

Good Morning!

I am working later tonite so I thought I would blog early!

Today's topic: Laughter Opens Doors
Laughter. I love it. I think a sense of humor can accomplish things that nothing else can. Laughter does so much, we can spend a few days on this one.

In fact I think we will.

I read somewhere that the average little child laughs hundreds of times a day, while adults laugh only 10 or so. (I know adults that don't laugh even that much!) I am grateful to my family for a sense of humor. I would never have made it in my life without one.

Laughter brings us health. Do you all know the story of whats-his-name who had a terminal illness and decided to laugh himself into wellness. He watched 3 stooges and Laurel & Hardy movies and laughed and laughed all day every day. He was cured.

Evidently laughter sends really good chemicals through our body. Can you tell I am a social scientist? I have no idea what those chemicals are but I also heard that they are equal to a good cry. And if I have a choice, I would rather laugh!

Laughter works well with our youth too. We have a no touch rule in our shelter, but sometimes (lots of times!) our youth push the limits on that one...especially when they get romantic with each other. So instead of saying over and over, "You are too close...move over...remember the rule...no touching" when they are sitting together on the couch, we will say, "I think I would like to sit....here!" and plop ourselves right between them. It works.

I laugh a lot. I even make myself laugh. I mean I really crack myself up! We must be able to laugh at ourselves. Laugh whenever you can.

I'll close with some of my favorite you tube videos in case you need a laugh now:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCYaw5tGYAs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MbzKnB-XkY
LA

Reflection

Hi there,

We are going to look at:

Reflection and Self-evaluation Keep Us Honest

Well, that makes sense, but how do we do that? We definitely need to find time, because for most of us, it is not part of our job description and our days can be so busy that we don't stop to eat, much less reflect. A good weekly supervision can be a time to do this. Otherwise, you have to make the time.

I am a self-evaluation junkie. I love to reflect and look at my motives and what needs improvement. For me, I need to learn how to look at what I am doing right. It is easy for me to feel like I have so much to learn, that I never celebrate or feel good about what I have accomplished.

For some people, it is hard to look at themselves. We have learned to avoid looking bad, and we don't want to know what we aren't doing well.

In the field of youth work, however, we must reflect and self-evaluate. We must be honest. We must walk our talk. We must be willing to own our stuff. We must be able to apologize or make amends when we have been wrong or disrespectful.

One way to maintain this practice is to listen for constructive advice from the youth. They will often tell us what we need to hear about ourselves. It is hard to own sometimes, but often they are right. Then ask your peers for help in working through an issue or seek help yourself in how to change.

I know of a youth worker who was getting increasingly frustrated with the teens who were talking about drug and alcohol use. She was lecturing them constantly on the evils of chemical abuse. One teen finally told her that she was judgemental and acting like their parents. She came to me and said that she couldn't work with the youth anymore. But she was willing to reflect and realized that her own teen issues were getting in the way. She got honest and admitted that she was an alcoholic herself, but had stopped attending 12 step meetings. She started back to AA and finished her internship. Amazingly she took a full-time job at an adolescent treatment center. She is still there years later.

Let's stay in tune with ourselves. Let's stay honest.

LA

Actions Create Opportunities

Hello Everyone,

I missed yesterday because I picked up my daughter from the airport. She was returning home from Japan after 4 months. It was her last semester of college. She had the wonderful opportunity of studying and seeing Japan because she took action. The most important action she took was to apply for 3 scholarships last year for the trip. She received all of them and was able to take the semester in Japan.

Today I took action and flew to Raleigh, NC to see my first grandchild who is 9 days old. I had the opportunity to hold her for the first time.

It seems obvious that actions are necessary for opportunities. But actually I have always had a problem with procrastination. I put things off usually because I am indecisive, fearful, unsure, or just too tired. For example, I started a novel a year ago and have written 5 chapters. I have not written anything for months. There will be no opportunity for my dream to come true, unless I actually write.

How many opportunities have we missed because we didn't take the actions? What actions do we need to take in our own lives to make our dreams come true? What actions do we need to take to provide opportunities for the youth we serve?

One thing is for sure. You have all taken action to become Americorps members and in doing so, you have the wonderful opportunity of service. You have many opportunities this year.

Way to go!!!

LA

Information is Nourishment

Hello Everyone,

Well, our SEN value today is Information is Nourishment.

Reminds me of the old movie Short Circuit about a robot from an assembly line that got zapped and became alive. He constantly said, "Input. Input" and was starving for information and knowledge. He couldn't get enough.

This is the Age of Information. We can look up anything and everything on the web. A friend of mine told his son that he would give him $100 if he could find a name of something that wasn't a domain name....meaning that it wasn't a web address. Try it! The son couldn't find one.

I love being able to look up everything and anything instantly. One of the best things we can do for our youth is help them be internet-savy. And show them how to access computers for free in their local libraries.

As for ourselves, information feeds us too. We can look up youth development skills on line and other youth centers and information about mental disorders and medications and anything!!

You can even google yourself! I looked up my house on zillow.com and there was a photo of it...with my son't girlfriend's car in front of it!

I love learning and information. To instill a hunger for information in our youth is a great goal. And then teaching them how to find that knowledge...trips to libraries and museums, true life movies, how-to books, there is an endless supply.

Be excited about knowledge and it will be contagious.

Let me know what works!

LA

Flexibility Begets Creativity

Hello All,

Hope you had a good holiday weekend. Our server at work has yet to be replaced.

Anyway, what does this value of SEN's mean?

Let's look at flexibilty first. Whenever I interview a volunteer, intern or staff member for work with teens in our emergency shelter in our crisis services program, I make sure that they know flexibility is a must. Things are not going to go according to schedule a lot of the time. So what does flexibilty really mean?

Responsive to change; adaptable Okay, so we need to change to meet the needs or situations around us. Working with people is not like mathematics. There are no given answers as to what will help a troubled youth even if something specific that you did helped a youth yesterday. Ours is not an exact science. We have to be able to bend and try new things.

And thus the creativity part. If we are open to doing things differently, we will. We will think of ideas that might work. We will be open to picking up signals from the youth. We will listen. We will research new ways to lead group or explain rules or resolve conflict.

It takes courage to be flexible and creative. We don't know what the results will be. But we will be less stressed out!

An example....a few years ago, we had a social work undergrad intern in the shelter who was an older student. She had been a helicopter mechanic in the army. Well if there is a career that is very exact and rigid, it would be mechanics. And if I were the pilot of a helicopter, I would not want my mechanic to be flexible (hmmmm, maybe I could substitute this part instead...) or creative (let's see if this thing can fly without that part). See what I mean?

So she had a very hard time with her learning plan. This is the plan from her school with her goals on it. Social work learning plans are very vague. For example...."Use the ecological perspective in your work with families". She struggled and struggled. And then she decided to rewrite her plan in terms she could understand. She was a lot happier after that.

So be flexible and creative! It is more fun, too. (Of course don't do that with the rules, policies or procedures!!!)

See ya,

LA

Learning is a life-long process

Hello Everyone!

I still have another photo, but our server is down and I can't access it right now. If you are like me, you are at work today. I drove into the parking lot and there were no cars at all! This is at the admin building. All our shelter staff are here too.

Today we are talking about:

Learning is a life-long process.

I believe this one is about us. Are we committed to learning? I love to learn. I am always reading. I am always asking questions. I can not imagine not discovering new things.

It is sad that often our education system does not instill that love of learning into our youth. It is often about students doing whatever the teacher wants to get good grades. It is often about memorizing facts that have no relevence to life. Anyway, I hope that you love to learn. (Especially since I will be doing our training in June!)

Learning can be about more than our work, though. I love to learn the names of the birds, trees, flowers, etc. I love to learn about people. I especially love to learn about other countries and places.(There are things I don't like learning though. I am not interested in mechanical manuals...like how to operate a computer, camera, etc. I am not interested in learning how to fix my own car, etc.)

I encourage you to explore what you love and to commit to learning more about it. Once I read the book, The Long Gray Line which is about the West Point class of 1966. This is the class that had the most lieutenants sent to Vietnam. After reading it, I started reading other books about the Vietnam War inlcuding one written by a soldier who got cancer from the agent orange that his father okayed using on the countryside there.

If we are learning, we can't help but share that with others. We can help our youth learn on the internet, but also through books. Remember in our assets talk, that reading for pleasure was the lowest of all activities done by youth today. (The Harry Potter books are great ones to get youth interested in reading for pleasure.)

As for us, reading about youth development and working with youth is a great way to increase our knowledge in what we do. I will get a list of suggested books from the staff here next week and share them with you.

Hope you have a great holiday weekend!

LA

Leaders are Everywhere

Hello All!

Here is another photo.

Today we are looking at the SEN Belief:

Leaders are Everywhere

Do you believe that? I think it calls us to look for leadership opportunities for all our youth. And what are some of those? At our shelter we have a team leader. Residents get to facilitate the chore assignments and help with disagreements. Those might seem small, but that is where we need to start with our youth who have never considered themselves able to lead.

I think we can find small ways...baby steps...for all our teens to try out leadership.

But what is leadership? This definition says it is the ability to guide, direct or influence. So even when we give our opinions, if it guides another or the group...well, that is leadership.

Leaders have a vision and are able to communicate that vision to others in such a way that the group wants to make it happen. To me, managers are better at making things happen and supervising, etc. Leaders have the vision. And our youth are often idealistic at this age, so we can build on that.Remember in the Assets Development lessons, we found that one of the highest assets that youth have, is the belief in a postive future.

We are leaders as well. We have a vision for the youth we serve. As it says so well in our Oasis philosophy:

Nurture visions that make the impossible, possible. Yes! That is what you do!

LA

Photos!!

Hi!

Thanks to Jesse, who you have met, we have more photos. I will put one on each day. The CD of photos is at SEN. Hopefully that will get uploaded soon.

Last night my home computer crashed. My son said it has the "blue screen of death". Oops. It feels like I have lost a friend.

Okay today we will look at the next SEN value:

We do with--not to--others.

So what does that mean? Aren't we helping youth?
Well, of course we are. But we are working WITH them. Unlike the medical field, we aren't fixing them. We aren't doing things to them. They are not passive receipients of our help and resources. They are not on the operating table with us poised with scalpels to carve into them and give them a new heart or head.

We respect them enough to ask them what they think and why they think it. We work with youth to help them develop the skills and identity they need to be successful. We don't tell them what they should do or think. We ask questions and encourage problem-solving and decision making skills. It is like the motto of teaching people to fish instead of just feeding them fish. Of course like Maslow's hierarchy of needs, we need to feed youth if they are hungry. But in our shelter, the youth cook the meals for each other. Many of them are learning to cook for the first time.

Partnership. This value is really about partnership. What does that mean? To me, partners are equal in value. One is not superior to the other. One does not have more power over the other. Both have input. Now we know that as adults we do have some power over youth, but as much as we can stay away from power struggles the better. As we say here, "once you are in a power struggle with a teen, you have lost."

Any relationship that is defined by power over another is a doomed one. It is as we come to each other in respect as equals that we have a chance to touch each other's lives. I have received just as much from youth as I have given. I bet you have too.

LA

SEN Values

Hello Everyone, I think I will talk about the SEN values or guidelines. They are very cool.

So the first one is :

How we do our work is as important as what we do.

So I think that means that the end does not justify the means. That how we do our work is crucial. And the truth is that we can not control the results of what we do, because we are in the people-changing business and no one can make another person change.

There are so many pieces to what we do. And certainly listening and respecting youth as well as provideing resources, skills, help and more are crucial elements to our work. But if we aren't walking the talk, then teens will see right through us. And we will be viewed as hypocrites and insincere.

We have to model what we want youth to do and learn. That is why it is so important to respect young people. They feel and experience respect and then will want to give it to others. And respect our co-workers too.

I remember my mother telling me as a child, "Do as I say, not as I do". Well that doesn't work.

We can know that we have done the very best if we are doing a good job. Even it the youth don't all make positive changes now....how do we know that they won't later? They will be influenced by you and who you are and how you work and your values.

So...how you do your work is as important as what you do.

LA

Americorps Videos

Hello Everyone!

Take a look at the blog entries about service. It is what you are doing and it is so badly needed. You might never be famous like the secret service people I wrote about....hey no one ever guessed all of them. Take a guess!

I just finished a 3 day training with youth workers and it was wonderful to hear the stories. People like you who are helping teens. So often it was giving a teen one more chance that made the difference. Or a teen realizing that someone really cared for them.

Keep up the good work.

Take a look at the videos on the americorps site...you can vote for the best one.

They are very inspiring and they are doing what you do...they are about you!!!

PS I like the Superhero one.

LA

Our Blog

Hey Everyone!

I have sent you all an email wishing you Happy Americorps Week! And a link to the blog. I have only gotten several comments from all ya'll since February.

I will keep on blogging, but I would LOVE to hear from you all. I would especially like to have some topics to discuss that you are interested in.

Today, I think I will mention what a wonderful opportunity you have to be positive role models to young people. Not only are you choosing to spend time with them, but you have dedicated your year to service. As you build that relationship with your youth, they will respect and value you. Service will mean something to them, because you will be the personification of it.

So remember to share with your youth about your membership in Americorps and maybe some day they will choose to join and serve.

You are special people and you have a special message.

LA

Happy Americorps Week

Happy Week to you all!

This is your week to feel REALLY good about yourselves and what you do! To start off the week, take a look at he fun things to do site on the Americorps Web site:

fun things to do

There are videos to watch and you can even create your own. You can get on the website and tell your story, etc. Be proud of what you do and who you are.

If you are wondering about the history of Americorps, etc. you can go back and read the early blogs: February 11th -14th.

So what are you all going to do to celebrate this week? Any plans? Any ideas?

I am writing today, Sunday, for two reasons....it is the beginning of National Americorps Week and I wanted to send you good wishes right away. And tomorrow I will be working 14 hours, so I most likely will not be blogging tomorrow.

Hope to hear from you!

LA

Things You Can Do

Hi!

Today we will look at things you can do during Americorps Week.

1. Give a presentation in your community:
You and some of your fellow members can arrange to speak to local groups about your experience. There is even a free presentation kit to help you.
free kit: (just click on this link)

2. Invite a local official and/or others to shadow you at work...let them be an Americorps member for a day.

3. Have an open house in your shelter to invite potential volunteers, local officials, the media, etc. to see what you do as an Americorps member.

4. Contact your local media and do an interview for Americorps Week.

5. Take Americorps pamphlets to libraries or places young people visit.

6. See if you can do some presentations at the schools.

And there are more ideas and how to do them on the site above. It can be as simple as emailing your friends. It is a good time to recruit others and celebrate yourselves.

Let us all know if you are doing anything at your service site to celebrate!

Some states are doing proclamations....don't see any of our states on the list yet. Maybe by next week! (Hey, you could call your state government and get them to do a proclamation!)

Have a great weekend!

LA

Americorps Week

Hi all!

So what is Americorps week?
According to the Americorp website:

AmeriCorps Week is a recruitment and recognition event designed to bring more Americans into service, salute AmeriCorps members and alums for their powerful impact, and thank the community partners who make AmeriCorps possible.

AmeriCorps Week provides an opportunity for AmeriCorps members, alums, grantees, program partners, and friends to shine a spotlight on the work done by members in communities across the country—and to motivate more Americans to join AmeriCorps or volunteer in their communities

So this week is a lot of things.

1. A recruitment event. This is when Americorps gets some attention and perhaps people see and hear about it and want to join.

2. A recognition event for you guys who are serving right now. A salute to you and the work you are doing.

3. Recognition to those who have already been in the Americorps and have served their community and made an impact.

4. A thank you to the community partners who make Americorps possible.

So what is going on during Americorps week?

AmeriCorps Week events are happening across the country. They include statewide AmeriCorps gatherings, award ceremonies, “AmeriCorps for a Day” events with local VIPs, community service projects, recruitment fairs, and more. The week will open with a big event near Denver, and close with a major environmental project near Miami.

Tomorrow we will look at some ideas of things that you can do during Americorps week!

Till then,

LA

May 11-18

Hello Everyone!

Do you know what next week is? It is National Americorps Week. So I will be talking to you about you and Americorps and service again!

There will be a lot in the news about service and help with the devastation in Myannar. They are estimating maybe 100,000 dead?

But we will look at Americorps next week and how to celebrate you.

Till tomorrow,

LA

Sorrow & Gratitude

Hey,

Well we have finished Circle of Courage and the Developmental Assets methods or philosphies.

So today I am taking a break just to talk.

So much sorrow in the world. It is hard to imagine the kind of devastation that has occured in Myanmar. I had never even heard of this country before now. And evidently, they have tried to keep it that way. They had intentionally isolated themselves and now they are all over the news and accepting support and help from around the world even though it is hard to even reach them.

Reminds me of our talks about support and belonging. Life is too hard to do all alone. 22,000 dead and 41,000 missing. My mind can not even take that in.

It is easier for me to mourn the death of the filly in the derby than 22,000 men, women and children. I can not even go there.

When I get past the horror of it all, I can go to gratitude. Gratitude that I am not dealing with the devastation or loss taking place in that country.

I can get so bogged down in my own problems...the price of filling up my gas tank on my car, paying bills, stress at work and home....BUT those are just the "stuff of life" and I can be grateful that I have a life....a home...a car...my family...a job...etc.

I am thankful for all the blessings I have in my life each and every day.

Till tomorrow,

LA

Positive Identity

Hello Everyone,

I hope you had a good weekend. I am so sad about Eight Belles who had to be put to sleep after breaking her front legs at the Kentucky Derby. She was the only filly to run and came in second before falling. Those horses try so hard and run their hearts out. I just hate it that it has to kill one of them. :(

Today we will finish with the 40 Developmental Assets. The last group of the internal assets is the Positive Identity Assets.

I will quote/paraphrase Search Institute here:

Solidifying identity is the primary task of adolescence, according to Erik Erikson...The hope is that the identity will be positive. Youth programs can give messages in multiple ways that reinforce self-esteem and belief in oneself and the ability to affect ones's future. In fact, all of the other asset categories work together to build positive identiites.

And I believe that is true. Relationship building, listening, empowerment, competencies, affirming, supporting, etc. all help a young person feel better about him or herself.

But here are some tips:

Use positive language to influence youth's perceptions of themselves. (For example, we tell youth who call in on our crisis line that they are courageous.)

Look for ways that youth can be successful

Be alert to special talents, aptitudes and passions in youth

Enlarge youth's vision of their future and reinforce optimism

Ensure that you and the other adults around speak positively about themselves and each other

Where possible, celebrate cultural heritages of the youth

Expect young people to experience ups and downs of self-esteem during these years

Avoid comparing young people with other young people

Let teenagers know that you are proud of and excited by their talents, capabilities, and discoveries.

Support teenagers as they struggle with issues and questions of identity

Let teenagers know that you are willing to listen if they want to talk about their sense of purpose in life, including their ideas about how they would like to contribute to the world.

And I would add to use the strengths perspective. Catch youth doing something right. Notice their good points.

And most importantly, accept and affirm who they are, not just what they do. So many youth today have grown up with shame and humiliation. They need to feel they are okay for who they are.

You all have the opportunity to be that person in a youth's life. The one who helps them see themselves in a new positive light.

Till tomorrow
LA

Social Competencies

Happy Friday,

I am off to Memphis this weekend for their music festival.

Today we will talk about social competencies. These are the life skills that youth need to make good personal choices, develop healthy relationships and to contribute to society. We can teach these skills in subtle ways and also in obvious ones.

At Oasis we spend a lot of our afternoon group time on communication skills and life choices. We spend our family sessions on communication. These are big areas. They include: decision making, planning, resisting, conflict resolution skills and more.

Really it is about how we get along with others and keep our self healthy. I know many adults who struggle with that one (me included). When one comes from a home environment that is dysfunctional, these skills are lacking.

Here are some tips:

Watch for opportunities to coach teens in good communication skills and peaceful conflict resolution. (not hard to do that in our shelters is it?)
Help youth recognize and name theri feelings
Help youth have empathy
Brainstorm solutions together with those in conflict
Teach nonverbal communication skills
Teach respectful communication
Help teens interact well together
Teach good decision making
Introduce diversity into your programs with volunteers of different backgrounds, ethnicity, etc.
Teach cultural sensitivity.

This is hard. I think of how teenage boys talk to each other...whew, not real respectful or sensitive!!

I would add, taking teens on field trips to experience new and different settings too.

I would love to know how you all work on these areas!

Have a great weekend!

LA

Positive Values

Hello!

We are up to the Positive Values asset group. Aquiring values is a crucial part of youth development. Values clarification used to be big...in the 80s maybe? But I don't hear much about values today. Asset Development says we can expect youth to behave in ways that are consistent with the values in our programs.

So what are values afterall?

Values are those things that really matter to each of us ... the ideas and beliefs we hold as special. Caring for others, for example, is a value; so is the freedom to express our opinions.

Most of us learned our values - or morals, if you prefer - at home, at church or synagogue, at school. But, where are our children learning their values? Maybe from parents, teachers and religious leaders, but society has changed. Too often young people today are most influenced by what they see and hear on television or on the street.

Here is a value clarification activity.

We use a values activity similar to this when we train volunteers for street outreach. We want to make sure that they don't judge the homeless.

Here are some tips for helping you develop values or at least get the teens to think about them:

Talk about values
Use games and activities to help youth explore their values
Encourage youth to question their values
Be committed to promote positive values & put signs, posters, etc. up
Point out youth's behavior that reflects positive values
Encourage youth to take responsibility for their behavior.
Encourage adults to apologize if they need to
Encourage youth to mentor and help other youth
Use service learning projects to promote the postive values of caring, responsibility and social justice
Teach and role-play skills and decision making.

On the other hand, someone told me once that if you want to see what people really value, look at what they do, not what they say. Ouch! :)

Till tomorrow.

LA

Commitment to Learning

Hello!

Last time we finished the 4 external asset groups. Today we will look at the first of the internal asset groups. These are assets that we help develop in our youth.

The Commitment to Learning group is mostly about school or after school programs, but our programs can reinforce the importance of learning and support young people's school success. Youth today have a harder time finding any meaning for their life in school, I believe. We can help motivate them to learn and see how school connects to their lives. We can also strengthen the connections between school and familes.

Tips:

Provide a good atmosphere for learning
Provide access to good books and magazines and reading areas.
Allow time for reading
Set up tutoring environments with snacks, individual attention, etc.
Provide learning opportunities such as field trips to libraries, etc.
Show youth what education can do for them
Acknowledge school success
Coordinate efforts with parents and teachers
Talk to youth about their attitudes toward school and help them turn negative attitudes into positive ones
Advocate in the schools for youth welcoming and caring environments

What do you all do in your programs to help your youth be connected and motivated in school?

Till tomorrow,

LA

Constructive Use of Time

Hello Everyone!

What a funny title for a group of assets. This one includes creative activities, youth programs, religious community, and time at home.

We can definitely learn about activities and youth programs!

The idea is not just to structure time, but to make the time rich. We have game night at the shelter on Monday evenings. A couple volunteers their time to play group games with the youth there. They play Gestures and games in which the teens must think and act out. Lots of our youth have never played games like this before, so they learn good teamwork and how to get along well with others in competition.
They also have a lot of fun.

Tips

Provide a variety of activities
Arrange for local artists to come in and do creative activities
Have as much one on one time with youth as possible
Display teen's artwork and talent
Tell the parents what their youth can do and are doing
Help find community resources for youth to participate in outside the program

It is a funny thing at our shelter, but the teens will usually say no if you ask them if they want to play a game or do art, etc. But if you get the game out or the art supplies, pretty soon there are teens wanting to participate.

Any ideas on what has worked for you all?

LA

Boundaries & Expectations

Hello,

We are up to the third set of assets. This is what is said about this area.

Youth benefit from clear boundaries and expectations that steer them toward positive choices. Boundaries are internalized when they are consistent across settings such as the family, school and neighborhood. ...Moreover youth know they are valued and respected when adults hold high expectations for them. ... Youth programs can involve youth in setting limits and consequences and communicate expectations clearly.

This is a hard area, I think. First of all, we have no control over what families and schools are doing. We can work with the youth in our programs and sometimes their families too.

We used to have a point and level system in our shelter. If a teen didn't follow the rules, he or she would lose points and possibly a level that had priviledges such as playing pool and getting a coke. We decided a few yesrs ago that we would give all the youth the same priviledges when they first entered the program. Then if they acted out, we would have their counselor work with them. We also use peace-making circles to resolve conflict. Of course this doesn't always work...yesterday we had to ask 2 teens to leave the shelter. But our incidence reports have dropped drastically.

Here are the tips for building these assests:

Provide clear rules and consequences
Involve youth in developing rules and consequences
Use positive techniques to reinforce good behavior
Model repectful behavior
Enlist youth in modeling positive behavior for theie peers
Work with parents and schools to create boundaries and expectations.
Tell youth your high expectations for them
Structure your activities to support the youth in meeting those expectations
Inspire youth

Any stories about this? I would love to hear them.

LA

Empowerment

Hi ya,

Today we will look at the empowerment assets. This is the second group of assets. Just today at work we were talking about the assets and how 40 seemed like a lot to remember. So remembering the main eight groups seems like a good goal.

The Search institute says that empowerment is more a philospphy than an activity. If so, then these assets would fit well with the Advancing Youth Development work. (I am trying to write with a cat on my lap again)

So the following are ideas for increasing empowerment:

Provide opportunities in a safe environment
Provide emotional safety
Listen
Encourage input
Enlist youth in forming the rules and consequences
Use elected representatives from the youth in their programs
Work with youth to decide on service-learning projects
Involve youth in community presentations
Set up real partnerships with youth and adults
Respectfully bring attention to power imbalances
Look for ways youth can serve in decision-making and policy-making roles
Educate the community on models of shared leadership
Find ways for civic engagement skills to be reinforced in schools, churches, communities, etc.

Wow. I guess all of that is definitely empowering.

Are there any ways that you have empowered the youth in your agencies that you could share with us?

LA