Vacation

Hello Everyone,

I am heading to Cocoa Beach Florida to do the Advancing Youth Development Training on Friday until Monday. It will be great to meet those of you who will be attending.

I might be taking next week off. I will let you know. I will be on vacation if I decide to stay in Florida. I haven't decided yet.

When I come back (whenever that is), we will talk about adolescent development.

So have a great rest of the week and tune in next week to see if we are on blog-break or not.

Take care,

LA

News

Hey all,

I thought I would just gab a little tonight. I left my material on adolescent development at work and that is what I was going to write about.

So I will just tell you a little of what I have been up to this summer. First of all, I had my first grandchild on May 20th. Her name is Katherine, but she is called Rin. She lives in Raleigh, NC. I probably already told you all this.

At work, I am being moved into all training in August probably. Right now I am doing training and volunteer services.

I am trying to get my house ready to sell. I know it is a terrible time to sell, but I want to stop being a homeowner. I want to be able to call someone to fix stuff. So I have a repair man redoing the chimney and all kinds of repairs that I have put off. You know that those of us who work in social services don't have much money to put into houses anyway.

My youngest son is 20 and is hopefully moving into an apartment July 1. Anyway all of this is exciting.

I am looking forward to this Friday when I get to fly to Florida to train a lot of you all. It will be fun to meet you and learn together.

This month has been crazy. We have 5 weekends in June. The first one, I flew to Raleigh to see my grandaugher. The third one, I flew to Maryland for my family reunion, and now the 5th one, I am flying to Florida to train. Whew!

Yesterday I was invited on a pontoon boat at a lake about an hour from Nashville. It is a beautiful lake with trees all around and a lot of marinas on coves and inlets and little parts of the river. A lot of country music stars like Alan Jackson have houses there, but the houses are mostly hidden by the trees. We had fun swimming in the water and being pulled by the boat on one of those floaty thingees.

Then at 7pm (when the boat was supposed to be returned to the marina where my friend rented it) we realized that we had no idea where we were or where the marina was. And there were no landmarks, light houses or buoys or anything. Two and a half hours later we found it. I thought for sure I was going to have to sleep in wet clothes on an open boat all night.

It is a lesson to me to not forget where you came from, where you are going and where you want to go.

Till tomorrow,

LA

Advancing Youth Development

Hello ALL,

We will discuss Advancing Youth Development (AYD) because I will be training about half of you on that beginning Friday.

What is it?

AYD is a curriculum. What is a curriculum?. Follow the link to find out.

Anyway, in 1992, the Office of Juvenile Justice & Delinquency Prevention funded the Center for Youth Development and Policy Research at the Academy for Educational Development (AED) and the National Network for Youth to develop AYD.

There were 10 organizations that piloted this curriculum in 1995 and the final version was published in 1996.

I first took AYD at the Oasis Center. Then I took the Training of Trainers. SEN was responsible for both of those trainings. Now they are going to have me train you all.

So what are the benefits of AYD?

Surveyed youth workers have said that the training a had a great impact on their work. One youth worker said, "I concentrate more on listening to the youth. I understand that I don't have all the answers...Also I have changed the program by creating a different structure, which includes more of the youth's ideas."

It also helps youth workers with self-reflection, assessment and development.

Youth workers gain best practices and strategies.

Youth workers meet each other, network and make allies.

Youth workers gain a professional language for their work.

Youth workers can regain their excitement about working with youth.

And more.

So I hope you are looking forward to some fun and learning. I am!

Have a great weekend!

LA

Allies

Hello, everyone. I am writing from Atlanta. Just here for the day even though it is 4 hours from Nashville.

I just finished an Advancing Youth Development training in Nashville. And the group came up with a term I really like:

Allies

So what is an allie? Wikepedia says:

...those who share a common goal and whose work toward that goal is complementary may be viewed as allies for various purposes even when no explicit agreement has been worked out between them.

So they are others who share our goals. Others who do what we do and are willing to help us. Youth work is not something we can do alone. Our young people need as many caring adults and resources as we can provide. Just like that familiar quote, "It takes a village to raise a child.", I would say, "It takes a community to develop a teen."

We can find allies at our workplace or other non-profits in our area.

We can also find allies among each other. All of you are Americorps with SEN in youth agencies. That is a lot of commonality. When we are at the training in Florida, I will give you a lot of chances to meet and get to know each other. It is my hope that you will like each other and want to become allies to each other. That you will want ot exchange ideas and support with each other not only in person, but on the blog.

This blog is for you. And I would love to sustain an allie-group with it.

More tomorrow!

LA

Cutting Edge

Hello!

I am back from my family reunion at a state park in Delaware on the ocean. Found a deer tick on myself this morning and since Delaware is in the area with the highest risks in the country for lyme disease, I am taking antibiotics and had my blood tested. YUK. I hate those things!!

Ok.

We are the cutting edge.

The last of the SEN assertions or values. SEN is cutting edge and so are we.

One way that we are cutting edge is through the Advancing Youth Development Curriculum. This framework and training is what youth workers need to be professional in their work. This is the training that we will be doing the end of this month in Florida. I have been training youth workers in Nashville with it this summer.

Another way we need to be cutting edge is to keep up with new research about youth. For example, there was hardly any research done on the adolescent brain until 10 years ago. Now they are discovering that the teen brain is really not fully formed. The part of the brain that has to do with thinking of future consequences is not formed. It is a biological factor. It is important to learn everything you can about these things.

Another area to be cutting edge in, is technology. This is a SEN blog. That is cutting edge!

So we will start talking about cutting edge subjects from now on....

Till tomorrow...

LA

Courage

Hello, I just got back from swimming 25 laps...that is what facing fear will do for you. (See yesterday's blog)

I will just write some more thoughts about courage and fear.

One thing I heard is that people who are paralyzed by their fears treat fear like a stop light...the red on a traffic signal. If they are afraid they avoid whatever it is. They stop any forward movement. Their life gets smaller and smaller, because their choices get less and less.

People who move forward even though they are afraid treat fear like a yellow light. They go with caution. (I know, I know the analogy breaks down if you are like most people and you speed up to get through the yellow before it turns red.)
But for the sake of this subject, we will take the yellow light as it was intended....caution. (Yes, I think that is an apple in the photo of the traffic light.)

When you meet up with a fear, it is okay to be cautious. Examine what your fears are. What is the worst that can happen? Are these real fears? Talk to someone who is a compassionate listener. (Someone who calls you a wuss or tells you to "Just Do It" is not what I am talking about.)

I have a group of people who are my support team. They are not my closest friends or best buds, but we are there to help each other. We email requests to the group for prayer or advice. And we do what is called a sandwich call. We call someone and tell them our fear and ask for support while we face it and then call them afterwards and report in. For example, if I were afraid of a job interview, I would call someone from my support group and talk to them about it just before the interview. Then after the interview I would call them back and tell them about it.
This way, we are not alone.

Some of you may have family you can do this with. Anyway, it is a good tool to use to face fears.

Later,

LA

Courage

Hello! We will talk more about courage.

Do you like Courage the Cowardly Dog? There is a lesson there. If you are not afraid, you do not need courage. Courage is what we have when we face our fears.

Or.. Courage is fear that has said its prayers.

And what is fear anyway? I like the following:

F alse
E vidence
A ppearing
R eal

Now of course some fear is very real and we need to take account of that. (For example walking across the interstate at rush hour.) But most of our fear today is anxiety. Fight or Flight responses that never go away or are dealt with. Because we aren't fearing a big sabertooth tiger that will either eat us or run off and leave us relieved and safe, we don't resolve our fears. We fear things like loss of approval, humiliation, failure, etc...all things that go on and on and on. And things we can't see or fight with spears. False beliefs, shoulds and critical voices in our head that feel as big as a herd of mammoths.

For example the "bag lady" is a common fear for single older women. It goes like this: "Oh no, I am going to end up living under a bridge with no money at all."

There are many methods for relieving these fears: cognitive-behavioral therapy, meditation, staying in the present, etc. It is good for us to work through our fears, because we can see how hard it is. Then we can help our youth work through theirs and have compassion.

Anyway, we only get courage but facing our fears. But we don't have to do it alone. There are support groups, counselors, books, churches, and all kinds of help.

More tomorrow

LA

Courage

Hello Everyone, well I am sorry I haven't blogged since last Wednesday. What happened to me? I just got heat-stroke I think. How hot is it where you are? It has been like 98 degrees everyday here.

Today we are talking about:

We derive courage from facing and moving through our fears.

Wow. I can certainly talk about this from experience. I have struggled with fear so much of my life. I left highschool with hardly any self-esteem or confidence at all and it has been tough! Actually I got married right after college and was able to defer some of my fears until my divorce 19 years later. Then there was no one to buffer my fears and I was on my own.

One of the most helpful tools for me was the book Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers.

This book is great for getting past your fears as well as living a very full life.

One of my favorite points in the book is similar to our saying. That we will never get over our fears unless we face them. Also everyone has fears and everytime we reach new experiences we will have fear to face all over again.

Jeffers also talks about not letting fear contract your life. I did that for most of my life. Here is a small example. When I was under 12 years old, we belonged to a community pool. In order to swim in the deep end, you needed to pass the pool test which was 2 laps lenghwise of the pool. Well I was afraid to swim and my friends would play in the deep end and I was alone.

Why was I afraid? Because when I was real little (6 years old perhaps), I had to take swim lessons at the YMCA and I cheated. I would pretend to swim but really have my tip toes on the bottom of the pool. I fooled the teachers by staying in the middle of the class as went back and forth across the shallow end of the pool. But when it came time for us all to jump in the deep end (12 feet)and swim, I refused. (I wasn't stupid!) I was pushed in. Down, down, down I went to the bottom....and stayed there till the teacher jumped in and got me. I failed the class...no "little guppy" award for me. And I was terrified of not touching the bottom of the pool.

So I would not learn to swim...I would watch my friends play without me.

Well, one summer when I was 12, I was able to attend a camp in New England. I hated it with a passion, but I did learn to swim. How? Well, there were anchored floats in this mountain lake that we had to get to....no problem... I could tippy-toe right?

Well, I did. And when I got up on the float, I had leeches on the bottom of my feet!!!!! Yes, real live black slimy leeches. They were on the bottom of the lake.

So I learned to keep my feet OFF the bottom of the lake. I faced my fear and learned to swim. When I got home, I went directly to the community pool and passed that pool test with flying colors. I have not been afraid to swim ever since. (Still not thrilled about leeches though).

More about courage, tomorrow!

Stay cool,

LA

Laughter Con't

Hello!

I think we will talk about laughter a little more. I was trying to think of some jokes but I can never remember them.

Anyway, what does it mean that laughter opens doors? What doors? Well I think of a door as a means to enter somewhere. In this case I would think it would be a way to enter into relationship. The key to all we do is in building relationship with the youth we serve. So laughter is a way to enter into relationship. Laughing together builds community and rapport. It builds bonds. It puts you on the same page, the same side.

Making fun of ourselves and being willing to look foolish is one method that works too. Dancing around in the shelter to the kid's rap music makes them laugh and we can laugh at ourselves. When my office was there, I would ask the youth to teach me the latest dance...like that superman thing...now THAT is good for a laugh....me trying to learn that.

One thing about our kids is that many of them have had to grow up too fast. Be too serious and too adult too early. It is great to encourage them to have fun and laugh. Games that encourage this are great too. We will do some of them in the training this month.

I like to get people who are stern and rude to laugh if possible. It opens a door. I think the door opens to a person's joyful self...their real self that is hidden by all the false fronts people put on to look okay.

Teaching someone that it is okay to laugh...that is a gift.

More tomorrow....

LA

Laughter Opens Doors

Good Morning!

I am working later tonite so I thought I would blog early!

Today's topic: Laughter Opens Doors
Laughter. I love it. I think a sense of humor can accomplish things that nothing else can. Laughter does so much, we can spend a few days on this one.

In fact I think we will.

I read somewhere that the average little child laughs hundreds of times a day, while adults laugh only 10 or so. (I know adults that don't laugh even that much!) I am grateful to my family for a sense of humor. I would never have made it in my life without one.

Laughter brings us health. Do you all know the story of whats-his-name who had a terminal illness and decided to laugh himself into wellness. He watched 3 stooges and Laurel & Hardy movies and laughed and laughed all day every day. He was cured.

Evidently laughter sends really good chemicals through our body. Can you tell I am a social scientist? I have no idea what those chemicals are but I also heard that they are equal to a good cry. And if I have a choice, I would rather laugh!

Laughter works well with our youth too. We have a no touch rule in our shelter, but sometimes (lots of times!) our youth push the limits on that one...especially when they get romantic with each other. So instead of saying over and over, "You are too close...move over...remember the rule...no touching" when they are sitting together on the couch, we will say, "I think I would like to sit....here!" and plop ourselves right between them. It works.

I laugh a lot. I even make myself laugh. I mean I really crack myself up! We must be able to laugh at ourselves. Laugh whenever you can.

I'll close with some of my favorite you tube videos in case you need a laugh now:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCYaw5tGYAs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MbzKnB-XkY
LA

Reflection

Hi there,

We are going to look at:

Reflection and Self-evaluation Keep Us Honest

Well, that makes sense, but how do we do that? We definitely need to find time, because for most of us, it is not part of our job description and our days can be so busy that we don't stop to eat, much less reflect. A good weekly supervision can be a time to do this. Otherwise, you have to make the time.

I am a self-evaluation junkie. I love to reflect and look at my motives and what needs improvement. For me, I need to learn how to look at what I am doing right. It is easy for me to feel like I have so much to learn, that I never celebrate or feel good about what I have accomplished.

For some people, it is hard to look at themselves. We have learned to avoid looking bad, and we don't want to know what we aren't doing well.

In the field of youth work, however, we must reflect and self-evaluate. We must be honest. We must walk our talk. We must be willing to own our stuff. We must be able to apologize or make amends when we have been wrong or disrespectful.

One way to maintain this practice is to listen for constructive advice from the youth. They will often tell us what we need to hear about ourselves. It is hard to own sometimes, but often they are right. Then ask your peers for help in working through an issue or seek help yourself in how to change.

I know of a youth worker who was getting increasingly frustrated with the teens who were talking about drug and alcohol use. She was lecturing them constantly on the evils of chemical abuse. One teen finally told her that she was judgemental and acting like their parents. She came to me and said that she couldn't work with the youth anymore. But she was willing to reflect and realized that her own teen issues were getting in the way. She got honest and admitted that she was an alcoholic herself, but had stopped attending 12 step meetings. She started back to AA and finished her internship. Amazingly she took a full-time job at an adolescent treatment center. She is still there years later.

Let's stay in tune with ourselves. Let's stay honest.

LA